“It's finally our time!” “Women are finally standing up!” But…but, then there’s the one who apologized, the one who signed up for help with a sex addiction. What kind of charges can be pressed? Many, none, the statue of limitation is reached or it’s a grey area. All it does is gives a bad reputation and a loss of a job from a major company. But, it also gives an opportunity for a book deal, a television premiere, or a chance to come back.
But the accuser, things haven’t changed much for the accuser. Most of these women who have come forth are not allowing their names to come out in public because they know the media and people in general will shred her life apart. How many sexual partners has she had? Did she drink that day? What made her be around him at that time? Questions that no one asks of a murder victim, of a robbery victim, not of an assault. But accusing a man of a high status… he could never do that, right?
Here’s the start of the problem, women feel like they have to do something extra, or these certain population of men make them feel that because they are trying to get an opportunity. But that’s still not the beginning of the problem. It starts in how we view ourselves, how we rate our talent and ourselves. The reason why so many men get away with this behavior is because too many women have let them for far too long.
So how do we, as women, take our power back? Because neither a public or private apology will give you back your sense of security. It won’t help change the victimization that happens soon after. Until I stopped believing I was a victim, I continued to be one. I had to leave that state of mind and realize that I didn’t belong to either of the men who assaulted me. I owed no explanation to the people who did not believe me and I was not on the defense. They should’ve been.
We have to stop rape culture and it starts with us. We have to not allow it, and stop it when we see another woman going through it. Stand beside her and stop the altercation or just plain have her back. So often we as women accuse other women of dressing inappropriately or acting a certain way, like they are asking for it. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Women need to stand together.
Tiffany Arnold is a writer and activist. She lends her voice mostly to equality and women’s rights. She currently lives in Kingsland, Arkansas raising her four daughters. Follow her on Wordpress.